For a while, after my fibromyalgia diagnosis, I gave up on goals. I was in so much pain, and so exhausted all the time- I felt like there was no way I would ever be able to set another goal for myself. It was too much work to just get out of bed, let alone work toward some lofty goal. So I moped, I admit. I grieved the loss of the capable person I used to be. I mourned my independence. It was a pretty rough period for me.
I feel like I may be starting to come out of the mourning period, at last. I still have to deal with my illnesses and the ways in which they limit me, of course. Those will never go away. And I will never reach my old goals. But I feel, for the first time, like I can find ways to work around my limitations and maybe reach new goals.
One goal I have is to move out of Tennessee. It's something I've wanted to do as far back as I can remember. Tennessee is a beautiful state with some rich southern culture and lovely landscapes, but it's just not where I want to be. It's not where my heart calls me to be. I have always felt a longing to move west. At first it was the Pacific northwest. I vacationed in Seattle, Washington years ago and fell in love with it! I cried when I had to return home to the south. I vowed that some day I would relocate to that beautiful place.
However, I think my plans have since changed. I still love the Pacific northwest and would definitely enjoy frequent visits there to enjoy its beauty and its culture. But since developing fibromyalgia, my body does not fare well in cool, wet climates. In Tennessee, we have cool, wet winters, and it practically kills me! It is by far the worst pain trigger for me. So the Pacific northwest would not be an ideal place for me to live, unfortunately.
This summer, I discovered my love of heat.
It started with my desire to get a suntan- an achievement I have never been able to obtain, thanks to my pale Scottish skin that freckles instead of tanning. But I was determined to try! So I bought a red bikini, some tanning accelerator, some sunscreen, and some aloe gel (because I was pretty sure a sunburn was inevitable). For a week straight, I laid outside on a blanket for 15 minutes on each side. Two things surprised me:
1. I didn't burn.
2. The heat from the sun actually decreased my pain level for the rest of the day!
As you can probably imagine, I was thrilled with this discovery and started to feel like a sun-worshiper. All I wanted to do was be outside in the heat! I didn't care about bugs, or sweat, or even sunburn! All I cared about was that the heat took away my fibro pain temporarily, and I could feel normal again for a few hours. It was amazing.
So now, can you guess where I would move to, if given the chance? In case you can't, here's a hint:
In case you couldn't guess, it's New Mexico. :)
I choose New Mexico because, from my research, it's absolutely gorgeous, fairly affordable to live in, and has a very agreeable warm, dry climate. There seems to be plenty to do, as well- especially if you enjoy history and nature, like me. It just seems right up my alley.
I won't be able to move for quite some time, but for now, a girl can certainly dream.
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