"You Don't Look Sick."

People with invisible illnesses are quite used to hearing the phrase "You don't look sick.". Sometimes it's uttered in skepticism, sometimes in awe, and sometimes it's hurled at us in non-verbal ways, when friends and family think our pain is all in our heads. What I try to explain to the folks who don't understand is that you don't have to look sick to be sick.

There are plenty of invisible illnesses and disabilities out there. Just because you can't look at someone and see they are suffering, doesn't mean they aren't. My personal experience with invisible illnesses goes back a long way, to high school. I became anorexic when I was 14 years old. I ate less than 800 calories a day, and I religiously exercised, to the point of passing out and not having a period. But if you look at a photo of me from high school, you would not see an anorexic.

Instead, you see a fat girl with healthy-looking hair and skin. No one had any idea that I had an eating disorder and was doing major damage to my body. And because I didn't "look sick", my eating disorder continued, undiscovered. It still has not gone away.

That isn't all- my other invisible illnesses include:

* polycysctic ovarian syndrome (PCOS)- an endocrine disorder that causes a hormonal imbalance. Its symptoms are not always visible. They can include infertility, weight gain, inability to lose weight, painful irregular periods, excessive face or body hair, and a higher risk for endometriosis.

* endometriosis- a very painful condition in which the cells of the uterus lining leak out of the uterus and grow inside the body, spreading to other organs and "gumming up" muscles and nerves. These wayward uterine cells can develop their own nerve centers (causing major pain!) and even menstruate! This condition leads to a higher risk of cancer and ectopic pregnancies.

* fibromyalgia- a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. This illness has stolen my ability to lead a normal life. I can no longer work, go out socially, or even complete daily household chores. Taking a shower hurts. Washing dishes hurts. Sitting for longer than 30 minutes hurts. Sleeping hurts!! This condition is very painful and debilitating for some, and for others, it's mild and they manage to work around it with medication. Yet on the outside, the person with fibro appears perfectly healthy and capable.

* bipolar disorder-  a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks. Symptoms of bipolar disorder are severe. They are different from the normal ups and downs that everyone goes through from time to time. Bipolar disorder symptoms can result in damaged relationships, poor job or school performance, and even suicide.

* dyslexia- a language processing disorder that can hinder reading, writing, the ability to do basic math, spelling and sometimes even speaking. Dyslexia is not a sign of poor intelligence or laziness. It is also not the result of impaired vision. Children and adults with dyslexia simply have a neurological disorder that causes their brains to process and interpret information differently. My dyslexia has caused me a lot of strife- particularly when it came to performing at my jobs.


These disorders are not visible to the naked eye. And most of them can't even be seen or discovered through an X-ray or other medical test. They're invisible. And when you have them, you won't look sick. But the reality is that you suffer every day in every area of your life when you have an illness like this. When people disregard your suffering as "all in your head", it is like telling someone with cancer to "man up and deal with it". The best way to combat this type of non-compassionate behavior is to educate people on illnesses that cannot be easily seen (or seen at all). The more we spread awareness about these conditions and the importance of understanding them, the less we will have to hear those dreaded words: "You don't look sick."